On Monday February 13th I was lecturing to a group of mothers and the topic was “The Origin of Stress and How To Alleviate It”. When we started getting to the root of the issue, I asked the group the question:
“What are the origins of stress?”
These were some of the answers worry, time constraints, finance, physical, emotional and/or spiritual pressures
When we examined these, we discovered that we produce our own stress, by putting pressure on ourselves. We tighten against our feelings denying and repressing them. We are overly demanding harsh and critical towards ourselves; and we are careless regarding our true needs. Ultimately stress is a result of lack of true self care. I then asked a second question. You are all dedicated mothers but:
“Are you mothering yourselves”?
As we discovered in our discussion, most of us are not doing a great job taking care of ourselves; and we all should. The better mothering we provide for ourselves, the better mothering we’re able to extend to our children and loved ones.
I continued to explain In my method, Gates Of Power®
I define three aspects that compromise our inner being.
1. The Emotional Self 2. The Defensive Self 3. The Expanded Self
The emotional part of ourselves is repressed and criticized by our survival oriented over protective defensive self. The Defensive Self is trying hard to “make us” loveable, successful and perfect. It is trying to compensate for lack of self esteem and emotional vulnerability. Naturally it is more concerned with our image and other’s approval of us, rather than with our well being. So it ends up stressing us. Our Expanded Self, the third aspect, is the wise, loving and healing aspect. It is the one that should lead our lives. In the Gates Of Power® method participates learn to access their Expanded Self and use its skills to relax the Defensive Self and free the Emotional Self. In other words, ideally, the Expanded Self should be the parent, coach and guide of the other two. We all must learn the art and the craft of inner parenting in order to establish real peace and balance. We are better communicators when we communicate lovingly with ourselves.
Giving and receiving love is the most nourishing and life affirming exchange. It is the spiritual gold currency that makes the world go round.
Making New Years resolutions’ is exciting. We get inspired motivated and filed with hope. It’s a little like falling in love. We envision ourselves fit, healthy, and full of vitality. We envision a life of friendships, great relationships and adventures. We envision ourselves taking bold steps moving forward on our life path. Life is full of promise. All is well.
A New Year is a new cycle, an opportunity to re-envision our lives. Ask yourself what you desire to create within yourself and in your life this year and commit to it. Strong emotional commitment is the key to manifestation. Actualized desires spring from our inner being. “As within, so without”: if you want love, you need to be love. If you want health, you need to envision health, etc. To achieve growth and balance in the area of your life that you chose, you need to nurture your whole being. All aspects of our lives are closely connected. Your state of being is the soil in which all dreams grow and blossom, and you are the gardener. Make sure you provide a fertile soil for your inner being if you want your dreams and wishes to come true. 
